May Jesus’ life dwell in you!
This past week had been extremely busy but it ended in a silent self-directed retreat at a friend’s beach house in Malibu. Because of the terrible traffic on Friday evening, I got there late. It was dark, I couldn’t see any street signs, and I was lost. I got so upset because I didn’t have time to do anything except go to bed and sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I was refreshed by a good night's sleep and a magnificent view of the ocean in the early morning from my bedroom. I quickly engaged in the beauty that surrounded me and I forgot everything that happened the night before. The experience was like I was dead and now I’m alive. So, I had been reflecting on what Jesus said in the Gospel of John this week, “I’m the resurrection and the life.” I got some snacks for my soul but nothing extravagant. Until on my way home I hit the traffic and I chose to take a different exit…
I stopped to join a movie night “Awakenings” at a friend's house. The synopsis is as follows: In a mental institution after research and getting family consent, Dr. Sayer, who finds many residents in a syndrome of psychic and motoric disturbances, gives a drug to wake them up. However, the drug can’t continue to keep them at wake level forever and they all return to what they were before the treatment. Many times in the past at such an event like this one, I was either a host or a facilitator for the night. I was well-prepared for it and very busy to keep it flowing. Tonight, I was a guest; I truly enjoyed myself watching the movie and sharing my reflections at the end with the group. A few questions were raised by a facilitator but one that struck me the most was “What keeps a person going even when their best efforts seem to fail?” This question made me look deeper into the darkest area of my soul where the painful wound was covered by layers of adhesive bandages… Like Dr Sayer and his staff try so hard to ‘cure’ the residents. At first their efforts seem completely successful but at the end they all return to the level before the treatment when the drug no longer helps them. I too years ago searched for my calling, entered into a relationship in response to love, and made a courageous “YES” one day with a certain intention to be His forever. In spite of my best efforts to live this life, what I believed was my calling, I was asked to leave everything behind. I left with empty hands, a broken heart, and a dying spirit. I didn’t understand what happened. All I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry--nothing would make me feel better. In the movie, Dr Sayer was sustained by human relationships with his staff, especially Eleanor, when all seemed to fail. I also have trusted friends who are in communion with me throughout my trails of faith. They have been praying and patiently waiting for the awakening of my soul. Yes, that’s all they can do and the only One that saves me from a comatose spirit is Jesus. Jesus in the HOST is the drug that nourishes my soul and keeps me from falling into a comatose state of the spiritual life. I know now after painful experiences in which I thought I wouldn't survive, I’m still alive because he is “the resurrection and the life”. In that instant, a painful wound was exposed and I felt no longer in need of the layers of adhesive bandage. I’m free!
Only through sufferings of the cross will we experience glory in new life. As St Paul said, “If the spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies.” (Rm 8:11). Believing this is to change our selfishness into self-giving, let’s embrace the world God has given us, that we may transform the darkness of its pains into the life and joy of Easter Sunday.
I stopped to join a movie night “Awakenings” at a friend's house. The synopsis is as follows: In a mental institution after research and getting family consent, Dr. Sayer, who finds many residents in a syndrome of psychic and motoric disturbances, gives a drug to wake them up. However, the drug can’t continue to keep them at wake level forever and they all return to what they were before the treatment. Many times in the past at such an event like this one, I was either a host or a facilitator for the night. I was well-prepared for it and very busy to keep it flowing. Tonight, I was a guest; I truly enjoyed myself watching the movie and sharing my reflections at the end with the group. A few questions were raised by a facilitator but one that struck me the most was “What keeps a person going even when their best efforts seem to fail?” This question made me look deeper into the darkest area of my soul where the painful wound was covered by layers of adhesive bandages… Like Dr Sayer and his staff try so hard to ‘cure’ the residents. At first their efforts seem completely successful but at the end they all return to the level before the treatment when the drug no longer helps them. I too years ago searched for my calling, entered into a relationship in response to love, and made a courageous “YES” one day with a certain intention to be His forever. In spite of my best efforts to live this life, what I believed was my calling, I was asked to leave everything behind. I left with empty hands, a broken heart, and a dying spirit. I didn’t understand what happened. All I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry--nothing would make me feel better. In the movie, Dr Sayer was sustained by human relationships with his staff, especially Eleanor, when all seemed to fail. I also have trusted friends who are in communion with me throughout my trails of faith. They have been praying and patiently waiting for the awakening of my soul. Yes, that’s all they can do and the only One that saves me from a comatose spirit is Jesus. Jesus in the HOST is the drug that nourishes my soul and keeps me from falling into a comatose state of the spiritual life. I know now after painful experiences in which I thought I wouldn't survive, I’m still alive because he is “the resurrection and the life”. In that instant, a painful wound was exposed and I felt no longer in need of the layers of adhesive bandage. I’m free!
Only through sufferings of the cross will we experience glory in new life. As St Paul said, “If the spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies.” (Rm 8:11). Believing this is to change our selfishness into self-giving, let’s embrace the world God has given us, that we may transform the darkness of its pains into the life and joy of Easter Sunday.
Take care and until next time...
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