He is Risen!

May the Resurrection Lord be with you!

“Sr. Mary Caroline is very frail, P. We don’t think she can make it through this week.” I didn’t know how to react to the news at first. I felt a need to see her and to say ‘goodbye’ but it would take me at least five hours non-stop flight to where she was. In addition, I have been picked to serve as a juror for a criminal case and I couldn’t just show up at the convent. Have you ever experienced in a situation that you have no clue whether you’re welcome or not? Do you find it’s tough to know someone who’s like a member of your family preparing to meet Jesus but you aren’t in a position to ever meet her/him again? It happened to me with my dear Sr. Caroline.
I received the news about Sr. Caroline in the morning of Holy Monday and I was called to serve as a juror on the same day. I didn’t want to be summoned as a juror at all but I was obligated because I had rescheduled a few times. I was praying so hard that I wouldn't be picked for a case on my way to the courthouse. I could pray all I wanted and tried every possible way to get out of it; God’s answer was the opposite. I was upset. However, God in his mercy gave me a lead way. The judge told us that we wouldn’t be in session on Good Friday because he had other things to be attentive to. I was so happy by the judge’s announcement. I went home and sent out an email to the convent asking to visit Sr. Caroline for the last time. I expressed in the email that I would stay in the hotel and I wouldn’t be a burden to anyone. I would just quietly visit her on Saturday and would leave on Sunday. I got the response and it wasn’t directly answering my request. It only informed me that Sr. Caroline had gone home to Jesus on her 60^th Anniversary of religious life. I was saddened by the reply and I was in sorrow at the same time knowing that I wouldn’t be able to say ‘goodbye’ or to see Sr. Caroline again in this life. Honestly, I don’t understand but I know I had to ‘commend my spirit’. What time of the year would be better to do something like this than Holy week, huh? A simple request I vulnerably asked was indirectly rejected. I again felt I am not considered a ‘true’ friend of the community. I wanted to know ‘why’ and I wanted the answer now. Perhaps, it needed to be this way for the sake of the sisters and their guests in the community at time of the year. I wondered if I didn't ask and just showed up at the door, the sisters might not like it but I probably would be able to see her face the last time. Anyway, it was a hard thing to take in. As my tear stained eyes were wandering in St Paul’s writings for comfort, I came across that God “did not spare his Son, but handed him over for us all…in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us” (Rom 8:32, 37). Suddenly, I understood that God invited me with Jesus in his dying to accept the sorrow that any one would undergo rejection and separation, especially life and death. At the end, His promise is that I would experience the joy of embracing the glory of Easter.
Even though I won't be at Sr. Caroline’s funeral and perhaps, not be accepted as an extended ‘true’ member of the community, I promise myself not to shed anymore tears. I know better now Jesus Christ has risen from the dead and conquered sin. Darkness has turned to light, pain to joy, despair to hope, strife to peace, sickness to wholeness, fear to faith, worry to worship, death to life in all its fullness. In heaven I'm sure Sr. Caroline is praying for me; she and I await for the day that we'll rejoice in the presence of our Risen Lord there forever. Believing in a God who loves me so much and has done everything possible to show me that love…I gladly join the resurrection and the life, don't you agree?
Take care and until next time…