Paschal Mystery

May the glory of his death and resurrection be with you!
As I was reading over and over again the letter of St Paul to the Philippians (2:6-11) “Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself…he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross…,” I’m deeply moved by Christ’s love through the foolishness of the cross. What a perfect reading to reflect on as I enter into Holy Week…
I know Jesus loves me. I mean, he really loves me. He doesn't love me because he has to. He loves me because he loves me. He loves my company, my voice, my faults, and my smiling face. He loves me so much that he willingly “emptied himself…death on a cross” for me. He has every power in the world to do anything. In addition, he chose to stop at nothing to show me that he loves me. He'll even get me in a corner so that I am desperate and have no choice but to look up into His face and to notice it there. No other reason than LOVE. You can say that I’m crazily loved by Jesus. On the contrary, I often don’t understand the mystery of death on the cross. It frightens me. The frailties of my brothers and sisters whom I’m called to be in communion with are very disturbing to me. Criticisms are hard to swallow and I don’t see or feel his love. St Paul, on the other hand, understands an image of God who makes himself small and powerless out of love. He welcomed it, animated it, and felt it in every pore of his being. Therefore, he embraces the cross because it is a way in which God shows his love and surrenders to the Paschal Mystery of Christ. It’s the Pauline way. I too want to feel what the Apostle felt. I must not reject it but accept it as it is. I can’t do it in one big step. However, I can take baby steps to be in great peace and serenity as I allow the Holy Spirit to guide me into death and resurrection.
Entering into the Holy Week, let’s embrace the Paschal Mystery as the Apostle Paul did because it’s the only way to experience love and to live the fullness of life.
Take care and until next time…

Hosanna

Palm Sunday

Christ enters into the Holy City, Jerusalem;

we enter Holy week!

New life through sufferings

May Jesus’ life dwell in you!

This past week had been extremely busy but it ended in a silent self-directed retreat at a friend’s beach house in Malibu. Because of the terrible traffic on Friday evening, I got there late. It was dark, I couldn’t see any street signs, and I was lost. I got so upset because I didn’t have time to do anything except go to bed and sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I was refreshed by a good night's sleep and a magnificent view of the ocean in the early morning from my bedroom. I quickly engaged in the beauty that surrounded me and I forgot everything that happened the night before. The experience was like I was dead and now I’m alive. So, I had been reflecting on what Jesus said in the Gospel of John this week, “I’m the resurrection and the life.” I got some snacks for my soul but nothing extravagant. Until on my way home I hit the traffic and I chose to take a different exit…
I stopped to join a movie night “Awakenings” at a friend's house. The synopsis is as follows: In a mental institution after research and getting family consent, Dr. Sayer, who finds many residents in a syndrome of psychic and motoric disturbances, gives a drug to wake them up. However, the drug can’t continue to keep them at wake level forever and they all return to what they were before the treatment. Many times in the past at such an event like this one, I was either a host or a facilitator for the night. I was well-prepared for it and very busy to keep it flowing. Tonight, I was a guest; I truly enjoyed myself watching the movie and sharing my reflections at the end with the group. A few questions were raised by a facilitator but one that struck me the most was “What keeps a person going even when their best efforts seem to fail?” This question made me look deeper into the darkest area of my soul where the painful wound was covered by layers of adhesive bandages… Like Dr Sayer and his staff try so hard to ‘cure’ the residents. At first their efforts seem completely successful but at the end they all return to the level before the treatment when the drug no longer helps them. I too years ago searched for my calling, entered into a relationship in response to love, and made a courageous “YES” one day with a certain intention to be His forever. In spite of my best efforts to live this life, what I believed was my calling, I was asked to leave everything behind. I left with empty hands, a broken heart, and a dying spirit. I didn’t understand what happened. All I wanted to do was cry and cry and cry--nothing would make me feel better. In the movie, Dr Sayer was sustained by human relationships with his staff, especially Eleanor, when all seemed to fail. I also have trusted friends who are in communion with me throughout my trails of faith. They have been praying and patiently waiting for the awakening of my soul. Yes, that’s all they can do and the only One that saves me from a comatose spirit is Jesus. Jesus in the HOST is the drug that nourishes my soul and keeps me from falling into a comatose state of the spiritual life. I know now after painful experiences in which I thought I wouldn't survive, I’m still alive because he is “the resurrection and the life”. In that instant, a painful wound was exposed and I felt no longer in need of the layers of adhesive bandage. I’m free!
Only through sufferings of the cross will we experience glory in new life. As St Paul said, “If the spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies.” (Rm 8:11). Believing this is to change our selfishness into self-giving, let’s embrace the world God has given us, that we may transform the darkness of its pains into the life and joy of Easter Sunday.

Take care and until next time...

"Christ lives in me"

May His peace be with you!
Have you ever been in a situation where someone doesn’t know you well but has a say in your future? You may not have a clue of things they assumed about you and you aren't given a chance to express your thoughts. Then, your world is turned upside down because of these assumptions. You feel God is not even there for you. Part of you is dying and another part is still hoping somehow everything will make sense in the end. While you’re in this mess, you wish you won't have to face this person ever again. However, God in his mercy doesn’t let you go without his graces. He opens his tricks...
Just this past weekend, I had an experience that challenged me to put to death my old self and to make “Christ live in me”. It challenged me to truly live in the Pauline spirit. In the midst of thousands and thousands of people at the Anaheim Convention Center, I met A.P. whom I would rather not have encountered or spoken to for as long as possible. A.P is with a group of people who didn't give me a fair chance to express myself years ago. My heart was broken and I had been in the dark for a long time. God, in his mercy, gave me two choices: 1) I can react according to my former pagan lifestyle or 2) I can react as St Paul did. My ego wanted to give her a cold shoulder and to go on with my business. However, I knew who I was and to whom I belonged and I’m not stupid. (Ignorance: if you don’t know it's okay; stupid: you know it's wrong but you still do it.) I hesitated for a while then I chose the Pauline way which is to reject a selfish mentality and to immerse myself in Christ by sending her a cheerful greeting and a big welcome hug. In that instant, I knew God's invitation to me was not only dealing with external changes in my lifestyle, but the radical transformation of my whole being: replace myself with Christ. Next thing I knew I offered her my lunch and helped her around the exhibit area. I normally don't offer food to people that I don't know or have a conflict with. I just knew that I had to give her my food which represents a sign of reconciliation. She must take it in order to complete this ritual and she did. We lived, breathed, and received communion in the Pauline spirit for a good number of years. I didn't think that she would be an easy person to be a friend with until this weekend--she suddenly is so friendly and less superior. I don't know if she has changed over the years but I'm certain that Christ was with me. I truly enjoyed her company and I hope our paths will meet again soon.
I am thanking God for all his graces bestowed on me this weekend. We’re in training at the school of the Master. Therefore, my prayer for us is that we may have the grace to continue to work on this without interruption, everyday until it is ‘Christ living in us’.

Take care and until next time...